Hagenart comic 02/08/20

Crossing the streams, a Hagenart fiction

I’d like to say that we will now resume the CS Lewis HP Lovecraft series, but I still have not performed the re-read. A wise man once said “Character is Fate”, and another person, a reasonably intelligent person, has said that character is 98% of any story.
If both statements are true, then Fate is 98% of the story too. Or maybe Fate is the story, and there really there is no 2%. Or maybe the fellow who wrote “character is fate” really meant character is 98% fate, but just rounded up, in which case we’ve identified the missing 2% and it’s whatever of character isn’t Fate, or is it a tiny bit of Fate that isn’t Character?
I believe both are true and as a result this blog is fated to unreliably planned, and I personally won’t ever get to direct “Star Wars / Star Trek: Crossing the Streams”. Which I have already written as the sequel to “Something Hideous Came Out of the Silent Planet”, as written by George Lucas if he were the son of HP Lovecraft and CS Lewis and married Gene Roddenberry and they had a son who was me and I grew up rich and got to sleep in all the time.
Crossing the Streams Act 1:
A spaceship glides seductively across a dazzling field of stars. The camera pans in to a huge window on the front of the spaceship, the windshield if you will. A man in a form fitting black suit stands looking thoughtfully at the starscape. It’s actually me, I’m playing the Captain as well as the director. I’m not sure if I’ll be wearing a hat for this scene. We might do a steampunk thing where I’d be wearing a stovepipe hat and a monocle
The scene changes, to inside the spaceship. An alarm goes off, with flashing lights. A crew member in a snazzy uniform turns to the captain and says they’ve detected an ancient radio signal coming from an older quadrant of the galaxy. I indicate in Trekkie that they should play the message on the spaceship’s dope holodeck. I go into the holodeck with my holodeck crew. The Trekkie holodeck actually recreates reality, it’s like stepping into a video game that you can touch and experience with all your senses. The holodeck plays the ancient radio message, which is the whole Star Wars saga, except that I play a taller and better looking version of yoda. In this magisterial role, I recognize the badly written plot elements and use my magic powers to edit them out. My crew members play my acolytes, and they applaud my rewrites. The emperor and I fight a light saber duel. I win, but he tries to cheat with force lightning. He removes his mask. It’s George Lucas. He condemns my rewrite, but I counter that as the original creator of Star Wars he can not exist in this reality and is therefore without power here. Either he exists and it’s all a badly written fantasy, or it’s reality and he cannot exist. He disappears. My acolytes applaud. I declare myself supreme space admiral. They look wary and confused. I mow them down with force lightning.
Well that’s just a taste, I envision the full series will cover several volumes and possibly a plot with characters

Hagenart comic 01/29/20

Hagenart comic 01/22/20

Addendum to a continuing series that got discontinued in the middle of trying not to apologize for discontinuing

We’re taking a hiatus from the CS Lewis HP Lovecraft series to initiate a new series, not really a series but more like an addendum to an already continuing series, and this new addendum to an already continuing series puts me in the mind to make a little announcement about series in general on this website, which I have always envisioned and dreamed would kind of follow a non-profit TV station type format, with regular series that would air at a certain time on a certain day and specials that air once, and live sporting events and a few documentaries.
But so far this blog has followed more of a slowly-going-bankrupt non-profit with no programming director type of format, where a series runs for a few episodes and then with no closure or warning another series starts and each series runs on less and less budget until it’s just me, the station manager, standing on a naked stage in a sad, crumpled t-shirt, mumbling about his hopes and dreams and ignoring the frantic signals from the cameraman that he’s leaving but the camera is still recording, and the cameraman finally just takes a deep breath and steps away from the camera, which Is not a hand held camera or yes, it’s a hand held camera that he’s mounted on a makeshift stand and duct taped in place. So he backs away from the iPhone on the makeshift stand, knowing as he does so that he has completely abandoned all hope of getting paid for his hours of work for this sad little failing YouTube channel, but he walks fast out of the studio that can only be used on weekends when the carpentry shop in the front isn’t open. He’s angry and disgusted and aimless and desperate, but he’s one of those happy people with actual technical expertise in something that more responsible and with it and together people pay money for and he’ll be fine after a few drinks and a short casual job search but his girlfriend who was always so nice and warm and seemed like such a wonderful person at the station parties will convince him to sue the sad failing station for back pay and drive what’s left of it into bankruptcy that the station manager works at two minimum wage jobs for years to pay off while the cameraman and his girlfriend move into a sweet house in Park City and they drive Teslas to their union gig camerawork and acting auditions and they get their kids into child acting and drink themselves to death while the Station Manager tries to think of something to write for his internet web-log.

Hagenart comic 01/14/20

Hagenart comic 01/07/20