Fish Lake Strikes Back; Fish Lake Oddysey Part II

Randall decided not to immediately tell the Capn or the others about having to do his natural thing. He knew that eventually he would have to tell them about it, because nature is relentless and the need for the natural thing would only get worse, and the only way he could avoid having to eventually tell them would be if they all suddenly decided to give up on the fishing and tear off back to shore before he was compelled to tell them about it, or perhaps if one of them suddenly felt the need to do their natural thing, and would not be reticent about it, would be a sort of champion of the natural thing for Randall's sake, without ever knowing that they were doing it for Randall's sake, but thinking they were only doing it for their own sake...so that Randall would not have to tell everyone about his need and would also not have to feel beholden to any possible natural thing champion.

And of course that would not happen, because it had never happened, in any of the many instances where Randall as a member of a group in a situation where restrooms were inaccessible except by concerted group exertion and unhappiness and where as a result Randall's need for his natural thing had manifested its amazingly inconvenient self like a secret baby that cried and cried to Randall and that he kept trying to shush, and never in all those circumstances had any champion of the natural thing declared themselves and always the baby had cried and cried louder and louder and shrieked and howled and finally Randall had been forced to clear his throat and mention that he would probably have to do his natural thing at some point in time not too distant from the present.

Didn't anyone else ever have to do their natural thing? Was everyone else in the world clanging around with innards of steel? There had to be others in the group, Randall decided, who had their own babies to quiet, their own imperative need to do their natural thing but who maybe had their own reasons to keep quiet. Maybe they were congenitally unable to inconvenience a group of people with their own biological situation, like the famous astronomer who died of ruptured bowels rather than tell the king he had to use the bathroom. Perhaps all this time that he'd been suffering humiliation and guilt for the intrusions of his natural thing, there'd been others in the groups, suffering irreparable internal damage, slowly but quietly, and to whom his announcement of his natural thing had been a blessed miracle, an unbelievable deliverance from unfathomable levels of self-induced mortification and discomfort. Why, they might secretly worship him as their champion of the natural thing, who feared no level of mockery and scoffed at the cruel jibes of the bowelless, willing to go to any level of debasement, to be the butt of a million tasteless jokes, in order that some quiet sufferers might get unearned relief.

Randall felt a burst of glowing pride, tears started in his eyes, the internal weeping grew faint, and he began to rise proudly to his feet. He had a declaration to make.

"Sit down, what are you doing? You're rocking the boat!" said the other Passenger sharply.

"You need another beer?" said the Capn. "Take it easy, I'll get it."

"I have to go to the bathroom," said the First Mate.